The Nosh of Champions

Twenty-four days after what’s been breathlessly dubbed by fans and various media outlets as “The Greatest Match EV-AR,” what did tennis aficionado Mr. Crumpet think of the 2008 Roger Federer-Rafael Nadal Wimbledon final? Does it still hold up now that the hype has melted away into that amorphous puddle of short-term pop culture memory?

Phil the Owl recorded the match for Mr. Crumpet — as he has been hiding under a rock, or a Long-Unfinished Project, these many months — so he was able to watch the whole multi-hour saga and skip over those dreaded rain delays. (Officially a thing of the past — a fancy-schmance retractable roof will be in place over Centre Court next year.)

So, Mr. Crumpet?

“I was wondering if they had a bite to eat or not during the rain delays. I should think that would be a very troublesome decision. Do you think they serve pancakes for the players?”

“Great insight,” says Orange Bear. “Who called him a tennis aficionado?”

Flopsy, Mopsy, and Google

Hey, look, Google is celebrating Beatrix Potter’s birthday today:

Beatrix Potter was born on this day in 1866, and while she is well known for her children’s books, this famous author was also committed to conservation efforts and the revival of Herdwick sheep in the Lake District of England.  For this, she earns a special tip of the tall hat from Mr. Crumpet.

The art on the Google logo depicts Peter Rabbit’s escape from Mr. McGregor in the first Beatrix Potter tale.  It’s an homage to the distinctive illustrative style of Potter, a self-taught artist, who possessed a keen eye for the natural world and its creatures.

Into the Wild

Mr. Crumpet and Orange Bear are fans of Lisa and Mike Husar’s wildlife photography. Their pictures have been featured in various calendars and publications. The pair have a knack for capturing the personality of their subjects, and many fine examples are on display at TeamHusar.com.

Many creatures from around the world, including the relatives of most denizens of Crumpet Farm and its environs, are well represented at the site. Naturally, Orange Bear likes the grizzly bear gallery best.

“I don’t see any hairy-tailed moles,” complains Milton Mole. “Are we invisible?”

“It’d help if you guys weren’t always hiding, you know, like hermits,” says Orange Bear. “Which reminds me, have you seen Mr. Crumpet lately?” 

“Mr. Bear, Your Card is in the Mail”

Orange Bear was astonished to learn about the existence of something called the Burger King Gold Crown Card, which entitles cardholders to a lifetime supply of Whoppers and whatever else it is they sell there. Apparently, only a select few well-known individuals (like, 12) are in possession of this highly sought-after plastic juju. (Google away.) 

“If only they had one of those for Tim Horton’s…,” Orange Bear mused to himself.  ”Hey, I’d share!”  

Tora! Tora! Tora! at Torrey Pines

Call it the Second Battle of Wounded Knee. In what he described as his greatest tournament ever, Tiger Woods staved off a painful, surgically repaired left knee and a stiff playoff challenge from ultimate underdog/nice guy Rocco Mediate (great name) to win the U.S. Open at Torrey Pines today. Tiger’s 14th major victory featured several instant classics: two crazy-long eagle putts and a ridiculous one-hop birdie chip on Saturday and then, with the tournament on the line in Sunday’s final round and today’s playoff, two nail-biting, come-from-behind saves at 18.

Orange Bear, for one, was glued to the Flickering Box at Phil the Owl’s place.

“I couldn’t believe it. I mean, it’s golf, right?”

“Thanks, Frank.  Couldn’t have done it without ya.”

* Tora is “tiger” in Japanese.

Spooky

Viewer discretion is advised.

Sealed for Freshness

One can only hope this practice does not become commonplace. Are you listening, inventors of the Ziploc bag and the sippy cup?

“Ashes of Pringles can designer buried in his work”

CINCINNATI (AP) — The man who designed the Pringles potato crisp packaging system was so proud of his accomplishment that a portion of his ashes has been buried in one of the iconic cans…

A Bear and His Bike

Summer’s just around the corner, which means Orange Bear will be eating more than his fill of funnel cakes and fried Snickers bars. In the past, it has been diplomatically suggested to Orange Bear that he perhaps find some healthy way to offset this caloric tidal wave.

“Exercise?” scoffed Orange Bear. “I’m a bear.”

(This is his answer for many things.)

Recently, this Non-Exercising Bear was watching the Flickering Box with Phil the Owl when he happened to catch the always head-turning sight of Muppets on bicycles.

Phil said, “Look, a bear on a bike.”

Orange Bear laughed it off. “That’s just a movie.”

Secretly, however, Orange Bear was quite jealous. Fozzie Bear did look like he was having quite a bit of fun.

To be continued…

Little Big Box

Did Phil the Owl miss last week’s big gadget news heralding the release of The Netflix Player by Roku, a tiny set-top box that streams Netflix movies from the internet to your television set?

Messages left at his treehouse went unreturned.

We’re guessing not.

UPDATE: Phil text-messaged the following haiku.

ten thousand movies
within reach of my wingtips
precious little time 

The Science of Pants

Mr. Crumpet recently needed a new pair of pants.  The old pants had become tattered, faded, forlorn, misshapen — they had lost their will to live.  (Perhaps if Mr. Crumpet hadn’t worn the same poor pair of pants every day…)

Now, Mr. Crumpet, still laboring under the Long-Unfinished Project, was not able to procure the new pants himself.  He needed help.  So he asked Milton Mole.

Ever dutiful, Milton Mole set out to get the pants but then realized, “I don’t wear pants. I know nothing of pants.”  So he went to Phil the Owl.

Phil the Owl thought for a moment and said to Milton, “I wear no pants, either, but I fancy those fancy pants that fight off stains and liquids with nanotechnology. That’s all I know about pants.”  So they went to Orange Bear.

Orange Bear said, “If I wore pants, which I clearly don’t, I would wear red-and-green plaid pants.  Those are very handsome.  But we don’t have money.” So they went to Mrs. Crumpet.

Mrs. Crumpet listened to their plans to purchase red-and-green plaid nano-pants. She laughed and said, “But you know Mr. Crumpet only wears black wool pants. And I can make them for him.”

The animals looked at each other, and Orange Bear finally said, “But we had such high hopes for the fancy pants.”

Then he whispered to Milton and Phil, “What does she know about pants?”

Mrs. Crumpet saw the disappointment on their faces, so she opened the little white purse with the gold clasps that she kept in a drawer and said, “Then you will buy me the red-and-green plaid nano-pants, and I will wear them in the garden.”

Thus, the animals were happy, Mrs. Crumpet had stain-resistant pants for gardening, and Mr. Crumpet eventually got a new pair of the same old pants.